Category: Binge-Eating

Thinking of becoming Sober Curious?

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Ahhh….A drink after a long day to take the edge off before bed, and then maybe a few more on the weekend to help you loosen up when you go out with friends. Socially, drinking is one of main ways we enjoy being with friends.

The trouble is it’s easy for those units to mount up, without even being aware of it (when I ask my clients to write down how much they actually drink, many of them are very surprised). And over time it can have really detrimental effects on your health, mood, energy levels and weight. Because some of these problems can creep in overtime, you may find it difficult to link them directly to drinking.

The recommended guidelines for alcohol are no more than 14 units a week, with at least 2 alcohol free days per week. A typical bottle of wine will contain 10 units. It’s easy to get through a bottle with three generous glasses in a night! Let’s face it, whoever pours a small glass?

Do you ever wonder if you drink a little too much? Maybe it’s crossed your mind on occasion that you have a problem with alcohol (even if you’ve not spoken those words out loud)? Do you use alcohol like a social crutch to give you confidence at parties and events? Do you often wonder what life would be like without alcohol or even why on TV, films and even in real life the alcohol flows freely at practically every event? It’s like we should all be drinking, and without it, we must be having less fun.

Have you ever thought about cutting down? And then maybe worried that not drinking seems somewhat suspect. After all, abstaining is often interpreted as a tacit indication that you struggle with alcoholism (itself a stigma and kept private), or that you’re just a virtuous teetotaller who’s a party- pooper and doesn’t know how to have fun! Trying to cut back though can be difficult and often meets with disapproval from others.

While you might be eating well, doing your yoga or Pilates, meditating, getting your 10,000 steps every single day, at the end of a long day, you get back from work, kick off your shoes and head for a glass of chilled Sauvignon Blanc. Soon, one glass is a second glass, which becomes the rest of the bottle.

I wonder if that sounds familiar?

If any of these questions above have crossed your mind, perhaps you are sober curious.

The sober curious movement is gathering pace and not drinking is really rather trendy. To be clear, ‘sober curious’ is not the same as sobriety (being 100% sober). According to Ruby Warrington, author of the book Sober Curious, it’s not that you’re either a drinker or teetotaller. Rather, it’s about bringing a “questioning mindset to every drinking situation, rather than going along with the dominant drinking culture”. Sober curious is a movement that welcomes you at any stage of your questioning the role alcohol plays in your life.

It may be that you have already dipped your toe into extended periods of sobriety – Dry January, Go Sober for October. Being sober curious the rest of the time is a natural extension. There are even sober bars popping up where you get to socialise over mocktails and kombucha rather than a G&T.

Author Ruby Warrington – the first to coin the phase – began thinking about her alcohol consumption in 2010 in terms of its impact on her health and wellbeing. She was drinking in a very socially-acceptable way. The way you might see openly portrayed on social media, it wasn’t like she was drinking secretly or during the day. Maybe a few glasses of wine on a few weeknights and a mini-binge at the weekend. Like many, she was simply doing it without question.

But then she began to question the role it played in her well-being, drinking less and less often. And then she stopped almost completely. With that came relief from hangovers, sleepless nights, and anxiety, plus a new sense of self-confidence and a stronger ability to cope with daily life. She calls her approach to drinking sober-curious, which she describes in her book Sober Curious.

Feel like exploring this for yourself?

Being sober-curious starts with asking yourself:

Why am I choosing to drinking right now?

Is it expected of me that I will have a drink right now? If so, how do I feel about that?

What will this drink do for my health and general well-being?

Think about what it is that you actually want.

It’s also important not to focus on what you’re cutting out. Instead, focus on everything that you’re cultivating or creating space for now in your life by looking beyond drinking.

When you do drink, ask yourself: How is this drink actually making me feel compared to how I thought it would make me feel? You might begin to notice that alcohol makes you feel tired and groggy and doesn’t give you the lift or the release you were looking for. And these experiences might make it easier to choose not to drink on some future occasions.

If people question you, it may sometimes be easier to have an excuse. For example, “I’m just not drinking this month” or “I’m driving.” Sometimes it’s easier to shut down the question, depending on who’s asking and whether you are comfortable sharing. Don’t be afraid to say to friends that you’re taking some time off from drinking, that you’d like to do something different instead (on a night you would normally go to a bar) . Remember, you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone. But if you feel the need to, I always tell my clients to use me, their nutritionist, as the reason!

Can you ever drink if you’re sober curious? Of course! Being sober curious is not about never, ever drinking. It’s simply being more mindful about when and why we drink, and how it fits in with the other things we want in our life. And that’s something we could probably all do with more of in every aspect of our lives.

SOBER CURIOUS RESOURCES

Sober Curious by Ruby Warrington

The Sober Diaries: How one woman stopped drinking and started living by Clare Pooley

Drink?: The New Science of Alcohol and Your Health by David Nutt

Alcohol Lied to Me: How to Stop Drinking and Get the Real You Back by Craig Beck. There are some excellent hypnosis tracks to go with this book by Craig Beck

Beat Festive FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)

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Hey, would you like to come to my Christmas party, have a mince pie, my home-made eggnog, warming mulled wine, taste my amazing Yule log…? If everyone else is eating cake and you’re not, you feel deprived. If everyone’s got a drink in hand, you feel like awkward if you don’t and feel like you totally should be too. You feel like if you don’t have all this food and drink, you’re missing out on something (FOMO). And, to make matters worse, the food pushers will insist that you are in fact missing out on something if you aren’t an active food participant.

And you’ll give in because you can’t resist. You’ll feast like you’ll never see another meal, and you’ll consume frightening amounts of festive tipples because otherwise you’ll be missing out on all the fun, right? You’ll worry that this is your only chance to eat turkey stuffing until this time next year so you’ll have to eat it, even though you’re not really hungry! Small wonder. Apparently, the British cram 44% more social occasions into December than any other month.

What is Food FOMO?

FOMO – shorthand for Fear Of Missing Out –is the pervasive and often unjustified apprehension that others might be having way more fun than you, and that you’re somehow being left out of all the said fun. It usually goes along with the desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing.  We hate feeling that we aren’t there for something important, something epic, something fun, where memories are made and friendships created.  And it reaches its annual high any day now.

But did you know that we also experience food FOMO?

Where Does It Come From?

Food FOMO isn’t our fault as it’s often driven by cultural and biological programming we’re unaware of. Our survival as an individual within a tribe, and thus our survival as a species, once hinged on being “in the know”. To not be aware of a new food source, for example, meant you literally missed out on something that could mean the difference between life and death.

When humans began to create more stable farming communities, being in the know involved paying attention, being in the right places at the right times to get resources and information and engaging in the gossip of the day as it filtered through the community.

We actually have a part of our brain that specializes in sensing if we’re being left out and it activates the stress response. In an attempt to prevent the stress response, which doesn’t feel good at all, some people will (unfortunately) redouble their efforts to not miss out on anything.

Because we are also a species that values and seeks out variety, we feel compelled to partake in it all, lest we miss out on anything. We are also culturally programmed to over-value losses and under-value gains.

Scarcity thoughts lead many of us to have anxiety around food, rather than food being enjoyable. The “lack” mentality also means that we allow food to control us. It’s also very difficult to feel satisfaction when filled with food FOMO because there will be the constant niggling feeling that there’s just not enough to satisfy us. In this way food FOMO leads to eating past the point of what our bodies need or want, causing anxiety, physical ailments and overall malaise, and getting out of tune with what our body really needs.

All of this means we put more importance on the food we may be missing out on, and less on our goals and well-being.

So, FOMO really is not your friend this month (or indeed any month) – especially if you want to maintain your weight, energy, mood and support your digestion over the holidays.

So, how does that festive FOMO usually pan out…

You’re committed to healthy eating during the Festive Season, and you go to just a few buffet parties or events. The food looks delicious, but you are watching your weight, so your deprived mouth can only water. There’s a very subtle fear that you are never going to be able to have any of these delicious treats ever again. The fear of missing out activates your survival instinct to consume everything and anything. And so you go on a binge, and your healthy eating plans are obliterated. The self-recriminations start.

The big question, of course, is what are you are you really missing out on? Nothing. OK, maybe some sweet or high-carb treats, some booze filled evenings and such. But eating and drinking these have a flip side: blood sugar imbalance, energy crashes, irritability, poor sleep, bloating and other digestive issues, and almost certain weight gain (if you consume in excess) – and that’s without mentioning the negative self-talk for having over-indulged.

There’s another thing about this festive FOMO and it’s that it has you giving up taking responsibility for your actions around food and alcohol (you would have been able to resist, right, but it was the party season?)

FIX YOUR FOMO AROUND FOOD

There are several things going on when it comes to food. Your fear of ‘missing out’ on that delicious dessert is the first. But also refusing food (though it should be a basic human right) is mired in emotional meaning both for you and for the host.

The answer is not to find more and more creative ways to say no. If you have to own up to eating healthily around this time or being gluten or dairy free, this seems to compound the original offence of not wanting to eat.

Can you get that it doesn’t mean anything if you don’t want to stuff yourself to the max with the cheese smorgasbord and mince pies? It doesn’t mean anything about your relationship with food, or how you feel about the host. You just don’t want the cheese smorgasbord or mince pies, or not to the extent that you’re so stuffed you feel sick!

Ask yourself what exactly are you missing out on????

Let’s be real, while it’s true that you’re missing out on the opportunity to talk about how good a dessert tastes, sharing a plate of fried mozzarella sticks, or having a third drink, you’re also not battling with your waistline, dealing with fatigue or doubled over with a stomach-ache. So in all reality, what are you missing out on?

Your action plan is this:

  1. INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON WHAT YOU CAN’T HAVE, FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN HAVE. There are amazing flavours, foods and healthy dishes that will totally satisfy your palate and give you something to talk about with your family and friends.
  2. TASTE A BIT, BUT DON’T EAT IT ALL.Instead of eating a piece of whatever, eat a bite instead. You’ll be able to talk about it without feeling guilty about it later.
  3. HAVE AN ACTUAL PLAN Before you go to bed each night, plan out your food for the next day. This is never more true than during the Festive Season, when parties, chocolates, cookies and “treats” are just about everywhere.
  4. DON’T TRY TO DIET JUST NOW Set a maintenance goal instead. This is much more realistic and it is achievable, even at this time of year. It will also give you the freedom to enjoy yourself without feeling deprived, or that you’ve failed, which in turn means you’re more likely to rebel (and this is code for heading straight for the box of chocolates without a second glance).
  5. TAKE A BALANCED APPROACH Manage portions. Eat slowly. Savour each mouthful.
  6. YOU EAT WELL AT OTHER MEALS. Lots of vegetables. Making sure you’re feeling full with smart carbohydrate choices and plenty of protein-rich foods. Then you head to your party, have one or two drinks, a few nibbles and – most of all – enjoy time with the people you love!
  7. OH, AND DON’T GO TO A PARTY HUNGRY If you do, you’ll be fighting a losing battle. Have a low GI snack before you go – just a little something that includes protein and slow release carbs (cottage cheese or unsweetened nut butter on an oatcake, for example).
  8. KEEP FAMILY CHOCOLATES OUT OF SIGHT so you’re not tempted to tuck in just because they’re there. Ever heard of the ‘out of sight, out of mind diet’?
  9. Go from FOMO to JOMO. It’s all right to happily avoid certain activities and have the “Joy Of Missing Out (JOMO).” Learn to get comfortable with the idea of doing what you actually want instead of what you feel like you should do. In the end, you will be much happier if you are following your own urges rather than those of someone else.
  10. KNOW YOUR PRIORITIES Remember that each person has different priorities in life. Know what’s important to you so you can really analyse every opportunity that comes your way. When you treat everything as a priority, nothing is truly important. Remember that you can do a lot of things in your lifetime, but you certainly cannot do everything. You won’t be having a blast during every single moment of your life, and that is all right.

Try asking yourself these questions next time you’re faced with food FOMO:

  1. Is this a real or perceived food scarcity?
  2. Is my body physically hungry right now?
  3. What is driving my decision to eat right now?
  4. Is this food readily available to me or is this a special or seasonal food that only comes around once in a while?
  5. Am I stuck in dieting mentality right now, which is telling me to restrict calories or limit what foods I eat?
  6. What exactly are you missing?

FIX YOUR FOMO AROUND ALCOHOL

Frequently, party goers who are cautious about their alcohol consumption are viewed with suspicion. You can roll out the usual excuses for abstention: I’ve got a hangover from the party the night before, I’m on antibiotics, I’ve got a really important work thing tomorrow, and the like.

If you want to have a few glasses of wine, have a few glasses of wine. But make that decision inside of what you know to be your social schedule over the entire Christmas period.

How does the amount of socialising stack up against your health goals?

To be clear, you absolutely can honour all your social commitments but, in order not to find yourself tempted by the usual crash diet in January, hear this: it IS possible to go out, have fun, eat well and not have everyone notice you are being ‘healthy’.

If you cut back on the amount you are drinking at social events – even choosing not to drink at some events at all – you can feel the improvements almost immediately. On those nights that you don’t drink at all, you’ll sleep better, wake feeling more refreshed, you’ll have much more energy, and your mood will be better. The impact on your waistline will be positive too – alcohol is a big contributor to belly fat and is brimming with unnecessary calories.

Here are a few suggestions for cutting down – if that’s what you choose to do.

  1. Decide how much you are going to drink (maximum) before you go out.
  2. Consider telling someone else who will be there (friend or partner, perhaps), to help keep you accountable.
  3. Don’t feel pressurised by others. It’s your life and you are the one who makes the decisions.
  4. Have an excuse ready when you want to give it a miss (remember ‘no, thanks, I’d rather have …..’ is perfectly OK.

So, you see, the fear around missing out is just an illusion. And, actually (in social media terms, certainly) FOMO is a bit old hat. What’s trending right now is JOMO, the joy of missing out. Think what you will be gaining from taking on board some of my tips, enjoying yourself without over eating or drinking too much…

How To Enjoy Easter Without Bingeing Or Deprivation

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Easter is going to turn up, whether you like it or not. Moreish chocolatey treats, hot cross buns lathered in butter, will be all around us, and in every shop and TV commercial. It’s enough to melt away your good intentions, and with this much pressure, bingeing feels almost inevitable.

Of course, chocolate is available all year round. The trouble seems to come when there’s too much chocolate around, as during this time of year. In no time it leads to too much temptation, eating too much in one go, then feeling miserable because you over indulged. The worst parts of a binge are the feelings of guilt and failure that you feel afterwards.

So let’s sort that and figure out how we can enjoy our treats at this time of year, without bingeing but also without depriving ourselves.  And let’s start by accepting that Easter will mean chocolate indulgence on one level or another and then move on!

Top Tips to Avoid Over-Eating

  1. Try to discourage family and friends from buying chocolate for you, or failing that, let them know what and how much you’d like. This helps put you back in control.
  2. Ideally choose the darker chocolate eggs or chocolate selection. The higher the percentage of cocoa, the less room there is for sugar. Aim for over 70% which doesn’t raise blood sugar and insulin levels as much as milk chocolate. If that’s too dark for you, around 60% is a good compromise for those who prefer milk chocolate. Plus, from clinical experience, dark chocolate seems to dampen cravings, particularly chocolate that is above 70% cacao content.
  3. Don’t to eat too much in one go with the intention of getting ‘rid’ of the chocolate sooner. Eating a whole large egg will lead to an energy crash later on, not to mention, for many, feelings of disappointment in yourself that you ’gave in’ or ‘failed’ with your diet.
  4. Don’t eat chocolate on an empty stomach. Firstly, it will give you a blood sugar crash. Secondly, it will encourage you to overeat due to hunger. It’s healthier all round, both for your body and mindset, to have a smaller amount of chocolate as treats after meals containing protein (protein slows the speed at which sugar enters the bloodstream) and/or to reduce the blood sugar roller coaster by eating a few nuts at the same time if you’re not having it after a protein meal.
  5. Plan your meals ahead of time so you can make the right choices. Don’t give yourself the excuse that there was nothing else to eat. Ensure you have plenty of your usual healthy foods to hand.
  6. Get a good night’s sleep– yes, really, if you want to keep your appetite in check, getting good quality sleep is essential! Our hunger hormone leptin increases when we become fatigued. That means a spike in our appetite, which inevitably leads to snacking.
  7. Eat mindfully– make sure you savour each mouthful of chocolate, don’t wolf it all down in one big mouthful! This will help you to eat less, as you will feel that you have truly been able to indulge. Savour it slowly, enjoying how it melts on your tongue, how the flavour floods your mouth. Swallow when you’re ready. When it starts not to taste as good and/or your enjoyment starts to fade, decide whether you have had enough. If not, continue eating. If so, then stop. Know that if you want more later, you can have it.
  8. Eat consciously. Make sure your decision to eat chocolate is a conscious one. “Some chocolate would be nice, but I choose not to have one right now”. Whether it’s donating an unopened box to a local food charity, or dividing it up among friends, and/or saving it for later, you can make the decision that you don’t want it. Choosing, and therefore consciously taking responsibility, puts you back in control.
  9. Remove guilt– we can feel deprived even as we eat (and overeat) something if we don’t really let ourselves have it without guilt. Feeling deprived will just lead to overeating so let go of the guilt and enjoy while you eat your treat mindfully.

Alternatives To The Traditional Easter Egg Hunt

If the Easter egg (and everything that goes with it) plays a big part in your family’s tradition, consider doing something a bit different this year.  Here are some great alternatives to the traditional Easter egg hunt https://www.parenthub.com.au/education/easter-egg-hunt-alternatives/.

 Chocolate Binge Rescue Remedy

Consider that even the healthiest people over indulge – but they don’t beat themselves up about it. They just go back to eating normally.

If you do happen to sugar binge this Easter, rule #1 is: don’t panic! Negative self talk and freaking out about weight gain will only exacerbate the situation – not fix it. Neither will throwing in the towel and continuing to binge OR going in the opposite direction and starting a fad diet.

Instead, you can still rescue the situation and stop it turning into a binge, sabotaging all your good work. Say: “It’s done, it’s in the past and I choose to move on”.  Easter is ONE DAY, that’s all. There is no need to be on the rollercoaster for the rest of the month.

Remember that small amounts of the best quality, dark chocolate has the following benefits: anti-ageing, reduces the risk of heart disease and stroke, is packed with antioxidants and important minerals like iron, potassium, zinc and selenium. Chocolate also contains phenylethylamine; the same chemical your brain creates when you’re falling in love …

PS If you are the kind of person who KNOWS you will have a problem with the Easter binge because this kind of bingeing and self sabotage is what you do, or you need some help to get healthy, click here to book in a FREE 30- minute Empowered to Thrive Call HERE.